There's a view outside my window, a constant view. It's always the same, it always looks familiar; the top of next doors roof and sky. And whether the skiy is blue, grey or black, you can always differenciate between which bits the sky, and which is the roof. I've not really thought about how comforting it is, until now. When I don't know how I feel, and I'm beginning to be confused about who I am. That's still there. With everything in my life changing, it's comforting to know there's still some things, however small that are still there - and though I would never tell anyone this, I'm scared. So scared that what I am now, is all I'll ever be. I'm scared I'll never be any better, always mediocre, never the best at anything. I'm not the prettiest, the funniest, the smartest. I'm just me, and I'm beginning to wonder if thats enough…

I stalked down the road; the jump in my step due to the anger coursing madly through my veins, looking for an outlet. It took all my strength and will power not to punch every surface I came across. I wished so hard for someone to punch me, kick me, or provoke me in anyway so I could hurt someone, anyone. Getting hurt would've just been a perk. It didn't matter to me who it was, as long as it was somebody.

My prayers went unanswered, and even with Puddle of Mudd and Skid Row blaring through my one headphone, my anger wasn't subdued, it was still there, buzzing under the surface of my skin, just waiting to explode at a wrong word, look or gesture.

On the busy street, with cars passing every other second, I imagined each Vuaxhall, Renualt or Nissan to be each member of my family, and all my friends, whizzing past me, eager to run away from me - and all my shit.

I couldn't help the anger inside me growing and growing as I saw each car, whether it was them or not didn't matter, pass me and speed away uncaring. Leaving me alone and choking back flaming tears of anger and dissapointment; if this is my life now, what am I going to be like in five years time? When I have children?

I tried not to think of it, I looked down, and blinking back tears I stared at my ornately large thighs - if you could call them that. I recalled what Elinor had said to me, about Neal laughing at me, and what I'd thought just that morning about how I looked, and how just minutes before I was walking with my 'friends' yet felt so alone. Like I was the only person on the planet.